I once advised a group of students to never send an email
when they were angry. One of them nodded emphatically and added, “Not when
you’re drunk, either.” Both are good advice.
Email and social media postings are easily misunderstood
because they lack the context of body language. Emoji help, but not much. What
might be intended as a simple comment can come across as hostile and angry
words can seem threatening in written form.
Electronic communication is almost instantaneous, which
makes it too easy to dash off a note without sufficient thought; however, an
unwise comment in email or LinkedIn can persist forever. We can’t delete what
others have already stored or printed. Intemperate remarks can come back to
bite.
A co-worker of mine was notorious for his oral outbursts of
abusive language; yet, when any of us complained he would simply deny it,
saying we misunderstood. Finally, management pulled all his emails and compiled
dozens of examples of violent threats he had made. They required him to
publically apologize and put him on probation.
An acquaintance made an outrageous comment on Facebook.
Later he edited the comment to change the meaning of his post, but several of
us had the original statement in an email notice from Facebook. He looked bad
on both the front and back ends of the controversy.
My advice is to write the angry email you want to send but
don’t send it. That helps cope with the anger you feel but doesn’t commit you.
If you must send it, wait at least 24 hours and revise it to avoid unwise
comments. Save your angry words, if you must use them, for face-to-face meetings.
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