Sunday, July 10, 2016

Don't Drink and Email

I once advised a group of students to never send an email when they were angry. One of them nodded emphatically and added, “Not when you’re drunk, either.” Both are good advice.

Email and social media postings are easily misunderstood because they lack the context of body language. Emoji help, but not much. What might be intended as a simple comment can come across as hostile and angry words can seem threatening in written form.

Electronic communication is almost instantaneous, which makes it too easy to dash off a note without sufficient thought; however, an unwise comment in email or LinkedIn can persist forever. We can’t delete what others have already stored or printed. Intemperate remarks can come back to bite.

A co-worker of mine was notorious for his oral outbursts of abusive language; yet, when any of us complained he would simply deny it, saying we misunderstood. Finally, management pulled all his emails and compiled dozens of examples of violent threats he had made. They required him to publically apologize and put him on probation.

An acquaintance made an outrageous comment on Facebook. Later he edited the comment to change the meaning of his post, but several of us had the original statement in an email notice from Facebook. He looked bad on both the front and back ends of the controversy.

My advice is to write the angry email you want to send but don’t send it. That helps cope with the anger you feel but doesn’t commit you. If you must send it, wait at least 24 hours and revise it to avoid unwise comments. Save your angry words, if you must use them, for face-to-face meetings.



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